In life we spend the majority of our lives in relationships. The body was created to establish a thing from relationship. And so we go from relationship to relationship. I guess that you could say that it is the cycle of life. And with that, life can be a rollercoaster, a rollercoaster of relationships. So there is one thing that you need to understand, and that is who we invite in our lives will ultimately tell us our life’s story and who we will ultimately will become.
The problem is that many of us do not even understand that the way that we classify our friendships and relationships can either make us or break us. As we read the Bible we see that Jesus had the multitude, the 12 and 3. Telling me that even Jesus understood the importance’s of relationships. And the ultimate purpose in life is to be like him right?
See Jesus also understood the importance of the times and what a commodity that time really is. So it is very important for us to understand the quantity of the time we spend in any relationship we cant physically get it back. We all have the same time in a day. We have 24 hours and so we have to be intentional with the time that we save and spend.
It is us that decide that status and position of the relationships that we are in. Whether or not that the relationship that we are in is either productive or counter productive. We must be selective and determine our associations with people carefully. Therefore it is very important that you select, and then classify those that your are in relationship with.
I am sure that you’ve all heard the saying that eagles do not hang out with chickens. And that saying is so true. Daily we determine the status and quality of the relationships that we are in.
It is said that with the 5 closest people in your life that your future can be determined.
It is beyond important for you to prioritize with whom you are going to spend time with. And even more important, why they are even in your life. So by who you spend quality time with you will self prophecy your future.
So you must understand that the relationships that we have change with the seasons and times that we are in. Understand that your old friend from around the corner, from high school is not the best investment of your time for the season that your in.
Now dont misunderstand me, that that doesn’t necessarily make that person a bad person. But it is the fact that they may not be in position for the season that you are in or entering. You have to understand that the season that you are in, that as it changes that the atmosphere of that season also changes. And that not every person is meant to go with you into that new atmosphere. It is the fact that they may not be able to breathe the air of the new atmosphere. That as you go up the spiritual air gets thinner and so the person that you had the best of times with may or may not be able to go with you into the thinner air. So we have to understand that it is not meant for us to get all piqued, but this is why being selective on who and why we chose our friends and that we must classify them correctly so that we do not get hurt in the end. We must be intentional about the people that we are connected to and why we are connected to those people that are in our lives.
God began to deal with me about that subject when so many of his children continued to come to me wounded and it seemed that it was all stemming from the fact that they did not classify the company that they kept.
He explained to me that as a child of the king, that as one of destiny and purpose that we face 3 basic types of people and encounters in our lives. We encounter the CONFIDANT, the CONSTITUENT, and the COMRADE. Something that I began to call the 3 C’s of life.
The confidant is going to be the most important connection that you will have in your life. The thing about this connection is that you will have very few confidants in your life. These friends you will be able to count on one hand. Two fingers to be approximate. Matter of fact, you will be lucky and blessed to find more than 3 in your whole entire life. The confidant is the friend that shows its friends an unconditional love. This friend will go the extra mile and they let you know that they have your back regardless of the situation. That regardless they are with you. the situation that you may be in can be up or down, but they are there. And regardless, they will not abandon you.
We all need these type of people in our lives. It is imperative that we have these people in order to fulfill the destiny or purpose of God that is on our lives.
I have a few of these friends in my life. These friends are definitely God ordained relationships. Up or down they have my back. And regardless, if the chips are down, they got me. See what I am telling you is that I can count on them regardless. These people have earned the right position in my life that they are not afraid to tell me when i am wrong but then affirm me when I am right. These people are in my life to make sure that I reach my God given purpose and to make sure that I am who God has called me to be in life.
That is who your confidant is in your life.
The next encounter in life will be the constituent.
And let me tell you, there will be plenty of those in your lifetime. They are what I call destination getters. Now let me explain a little. These people are not into you, they are not for you’re destiny or for your purpose, but they are into what are their as long as you are there for what they are for. They aren’t down for whatever. See their destiny is what matters, so don’t be confused and think that they are for your destiny. They don’t care. They will abandon you and move on at a moments notice. Don’t get this relationship discombobulated and think that they are on your team or that they are there for the long haul. Because simply put, they are not. They were never in your life for what you thought in the first place. They were there as long as you were fighting for the same goal. And the thing is that they will even look like a confidant. They will make you fall in love with them. But beware, because they are opportunist and do not care if they hurt you. If they find someone better, someone that they think that can help them climb that ladder a little faster or better, they will be out like shout. Gone like the wind.
And so the last group of people that you will encounter in life is the comrade. Similar to the constituent in many ways, But understand that they aren’t for you one bit. They are not their to help you. Their purpose is exactly what it seems and that is to fight a common enemy, and the moment that that battle is over, the moment that victory is evident, they will be done. So understand that they will befriend you for that purpose and that purpose only. That comrade has come into your life for specific purpose. Like scaffolding they will give temporary support for the time that it is needed, and then they will leave when once not needed.
Now don’t misunderstand me, because each of these encounters that you have faced are necessary and are for a purpose. Each encounter you needed and has a place in the cycle of life. But the goal here is for you to successfully discern each relationship that you encounter. So with that encounter, you must carefully discern and carefully place eitherh encounter and relationship that is in your life. That is key. Because it is when you think that your comrade is your confidant that your life gets all discombobulated and screwed up. It is then that you get unnecessarily offended.
We all know what happened to Joseph when he didn’t discern and shared his dreams with the wrong people. So don’t get it twisted, even family can fit in the comrade category.
We must simply discern and properly place each relationship that we encounter in our lives. Don’t just tell anyone your dreams and visions. Don’t mistake your constituent as your comrade. Use discernment and wisdom when placing importance on the relationships that are in your life.
Proverbs 10:14 (ESV): The wise lay up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.
The same verse in the New Century Version states, that the wise don’t tell everything they know, but the foolish talk to much and are ruined.
Proverbs 4:7 (AMP): The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom (skillful and godly Wisdom)! [For skillful and godly Wisdom is the principal thing.] And with all you have gotten, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation).
We must have wisdom and carefully discern the encounters in our lives.
We must properly prioritize our relationships to know the position and role people play in our lives.
To do so haphazardly and without wisdom could be the difference between hurt and joy, or life and death.